


Lay Me Down

by CaitClandestine



Category: Bryan Stars - Fandom, Johnnie Guilbert - Fandom, Kyle David Hall - Fandom, My digital escape
Genre: Could vaguely be Johnnie/Kyle, Gen, Or Bryan/Johnnie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-08
Updated: 2015-08-08
Packaged: 2018-04-13 15:18:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4527111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaitClandestine/pseuds/CaitClandestine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Johnnie can't sleep and there's nothing Bryan can do but be there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lay Me Down

It's no great secret between them that Johnnie doesn't always sleep. Bryan doesn't always either, but it's far and few between compared to the almost regular schedule of insomnia that keeps his best friend awake at night. 

They're both night owls and some of Bryan's best videos have happened at three in the morning and there's a reason they have an entire kitchen drawer dedicated to any snack you could possible crave at that kind of hour, energy drinks stashed in the bottom of the fridge. Often he falls asleep to Johnnie strumming something on his guitar or ukulele, laughing quietly to himself as he tries not to make too much noise working on a skit or having a late night Skype with someone, usually Kyle.

Kyle's even worse with sleep and it's sweet to listen to the rise and fall of what's probably the worlds most ridiculous conversation and honestly even Bryan isn't sure what's going on between them. When Kyle last came to visit they'd discovered that the two of them cancel each other out, curled up in Johnnie's bed and with each other, sleeping so soundly and for so long the first few days that Bryan had been a little worried that he hadn't realised how bad they were. They'd recharged after that though, bounced back to as normal as they get complete with plenty of late night adventures. Being woken by a bleeding Kyle who'd apparently snuck out to skate wasn't exactly a highlight. 

After he'd gone home Bryan had tested a few theories, wondering if all Johnnie needed to sleep a full night was someone beside him. It wasn't, and the way the smaller boy rolled endlessly back and forth adjusting his pillow had quickly sent Bryan back to his own bed. All his attempts to sing lullabies had been met with a resounding and violent no, as with his suggestion of counting Jordan's instead of sheep. 

Johnnie's sleeplessness seems to come in bursts, a few weeks of fine followed by an equal amount of not fine at all and eventually Johnnie will get so tired that he'll be falling asleep everywhere but his own bed and anytime but night though never for long enough. It's okay if they're not doing much, but sometimes they need to go grocery shopping or prop purchasing or actually film something and dealing with a grumpy Johnnie isn't as cute as some of their videos make it look. 

It's a Wednesday, day maybe four of him making endless glasses of warm chocolate milk and playing the most soothing music he can get away with and still Johnnie's mind won't let him sleep. He's bundled up in a bunch of blankets on their couch, dark circles permanently etched and a constant frown on his face as he alternates between staring glassily at his phone, the TV or the ceiling. Usually Johnnie is affectionate as fuck, but not so much when he's like this. He'd tried to explain it once, that being touched when he's so, so fucking tired was like having his skin stretched taut, hypersensitive, but Bryan has no reference point for that, still doesn't really understand.

He goes to bed around eleven, leaves Johnnie with another glass of milk and a bunch of old school Nick shows loaded into their DVD player so he won't have to get up to change them. He gets away with a tiny ruffle of Johnnie's hair and a quick blanket adjustment before he's being pushed away. 

When he wakes up it's nearly twelve hours of solid sleep later and he feels more than a little guilty. Maybe he should've set an alarm. He gets up and shuffles to the bathroom, tugging on a hoodie before padding out into the living room as quietly as he can, just in case. 

The Angry Beavers are on, muted but still moving brightly against the screen and Johnnie's head pokes out from underneath the blanket he's buried under.

“Morning sunshine” He offers, voice croaky and thin and yeah, Bryan should've gotten up earlier. 

“Did you sleep at all?”

“No, but Kyle was up for a little around four, we made the best snapchat story about an ugly boy named Bryan”

“As long as I turned into a beautiful butterfly in the end” Bryan says agreeably, “You want cereal?”

It's a constant battle to get Johnnie to eat enough in general, let alone when he's exhausted like this and even though he gets a shake of the head Bryan pours a few extra Lucky Charms into his bowl, adds almond milk instead of the normal kind he prefers. It's a small sacrifice for the good of the universe and it's not that bad, really. 

He sits down in front of the couch, leans back against the armrest and the TV is unmuted, Johnnie's head coming to half-rest against his shoulder, spikes of black hair interrupting his view.

“Careful, you'll get milk in your hair” He says through a mouthful and Johnnie moves back a bit, always worried about his precious locks. 

Halfway into the next episode he's nearly done, most of the marshmallows carefully left behind in a few inches of delicious but vaguely browny-blue coloured milk. Bryan lets his spoon clatter into the bowl, gives it a few seconds before a hand appears beside his head, Johnnie's fingers wiggling at him until he huffs like he's offended before handing the bowl over like neither of them know that this doesn't happen like clockwork every single time. 

He plays with his phone while Johnnie slurps as obnoxiously as he can, bowl to his face and lapping like a cat once he's eaten all the marshmallows in one giant spoonful. The bowl gets pressed to the side of his face and Bryan takes it back, lets out an old man groan as he gets up and heads to put it in the sink.

It's laundry day and Bryan decides to be generous and do a black load first, mostly Johnnie's because unlike his room mate Bryan actually likes clothes with colour. He scrapes a weeks worth of toothpaste from his bathroom sink, hangs up the little kangaroo shaped air freshener that Jordan had sent them above the toilet and is half-heartedly trying to untangle the vacuum cleaner cord from the mop when Johnnie stumbles into view, leaning unsteadily against the closet door and looking miserable. 

“You okay?”

Johnnie shrugs, “I feel sick” He mumbles, “Did you poison the cereal?”

Bryan drops the mess of cord to his feet with a thud.

“If I was going to poison you don't you think i'd not eat most of it first?

He nudges Johnnie out of the way so he can close the door and leans him against the wall, moves Johnnie's fringe to the side to press a hand against his forehead like his mother always does to him. Johnnie's kind of cold and clammy, but that's probably normal for someone who hasn't slept in well, however long it's been now. 

“Murder suicide?” Johnnie suggests and one of Bryan's least favourite things about Johnnie is how he's able to just say things like that, things morbid and dark so easily, without a second thought and even though he's joking it never sits quite right with him, a little too close to home for both of them.

“Who'd look after Nemo then?”

Nemo is their house plant, a hopefully drought proof cactus that came in a little 'paint your own pot' kit. They'd put a dick on it of course, and now Nemo sits in pride of place in Bryan's bedroom window since he gets the most direct sun and cacti live in the desert so they need that, right?

“Poison him too, we can make it look like an accident” 

“You need to sleep” Bryan blurts, if Johnnie's tired enough to think this deeply about something so ridiculous means that he needs at least a tiny, tiny nap before he starts getting genuinely out of it and last time he'd broken three plates trying to stop a spider Bryan's not entirely convinced was ever there and house stuff is expensive. Nemo's definitely one of a kind.

“No shit” 

Bryan thinks about leading Johnnie back to his spot on the couch or maybe back to his bed before he remembers that he washed their sheets two days ago and neither him nor Johnnie have bothered to fix them up again, since there hasn't exactly been any point.

“Come on” He decides suddenly, “We're going to my bed”

“You have to buy me dinner first” Johnnie grumbles tiredly but he doesn't protest and Bryan grabs hold of his shirt and lightly tugs at it, trying to get him to give up the support of the wall. He gets a few wavery steps and a mildly confused look before he sighs and slides a hand under Johnnie's knees, the other around his waist as he lifts him up, shifting around until he's convinced that Johnnie's secure enough that he won't drop him. 

Johnnie lets out a little shriek but ultimately doesn't fight back to defend his honour like he usually would, lets Bryan carry him to his room, dead weight but far too light all the same. 

He sits Johnnie down at the end so can he pull back his blankets, try to fix them up so they're no quite so messy and tangled. He only makes his bed every few days and in between then it gets kind of crazy. Johnnie watches him silently.

“You don't have to” He says eventually, voice barely above a whisper. “The couch is fine”

“Get in the bed” Bryan directs, pointing to the mostly wrinkle free spot he's made on the right side and when Johnnie visibly hesitates he reaches over and wraps his arms around his tiny waist again, sliding him across the duvet and into said spot, tucking him underneath the blankets. 

He clambers in after and Johnnie stiffens, looks up at him with startled eyes like Bryan's going to ask of him something he can't offer. Bryan's a cuddler at heart, has never been able to help himself from getting all up in his friends personal space. It's why him and Johnnie get along so well, always able to reach out for the other. 

He leans over, stretches out a hand to gently pat down an errant bit of Johnnie's hair. 

“I know you can't right now” Bryan assures softly, adjusting the covers and making sure there's ample distance between them, ignores the heavy sadness within him that wants nothing more than to pull Johnnie into his arms and hold him tightly. Johnnie doesn't reply and Brian rolls over as to close to his side of the bed as he can, tries to will them both to sleep despite the sun still peeking though his blackout blinds. 

When he rolls back the other way and cracks his eyes open an unknown amount of time later Johnnie's watching him, sheet tucked under his chin.

“No good?” Bryan asks, hates that he punctuates his sentence with a yawn because he had quite a nice nap really, comfortable and dreamless.

“No good” Johnnie echoes and fuck, Bryan wishes there was something he could do, some way that they could trade bodies, even if just for a little while. Either that or he's considering how much trouble he'd get in if he tried to knock Johnnie out with a paperweight or something. He's got some pretty strong painkillers for when his head gets bad, but even a double dose of them can't ease Johnnie into sleep and Johnnie doesn't have anything of his own that could help either. 

“Do you need anything, snack, laptop, really hard whack to the head?”

The last part should bring a begrudging smile to Johnnie's lips, a sassy remark about how unfunny he is. It doesn't.

“You okay? ”

“Hurts” Johnnie says in a tiny voice, “Fuck, i'm so fucking tired and I can't, I ca-” He chokes off at the end and almost automatically Bryan is moving closer to him, going in for a hug, for any kind of comforting touch until he remembers, jerks away at the last minute. Johnnie looks up at him sadly and Bryan aches.

A long silence stretches between the few inches that separate them and Johnnie's breathing shakily and Bryan knows he's only making it worse with how close he is. He sits up, moves to climb off the bed, maybe see if he can call Kyle to try and talk Johnnie down or something but a tug on his sleeve stops him.

“Might as well hurt on the outside too” And no, no.

“Johnnie, no” Bryan tries to protest but Johnnie is already lifting up the blankets, throwing his legs over and crawling into his lap, sideways against Bryan's chest and he's trembling, quivering as Bryan wraps his around his tiny frame and it feels right, Johnnie tucked into him like this. He reaches to pull Johnnie's hands into his but Johnnie whines softly.

“Skin hurts worse” He whispers, fingers fold themselves into Bryan's hoodie, head wiggling against his shoulder until he finally stills, sighs heavily.

As much as he wishes, Johnnie doesn't fall asleep.


End file.
